Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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