The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
my poor anus
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
