I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
This beer is not sobering me up at all
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
