Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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