She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
