someone threw a dead crab at me
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
