just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize