i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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