it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Randomize
