Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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