i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
