just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
