I got chris browned last night
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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