i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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