Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
that is very illegal...i love you.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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