just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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