I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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