I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize