I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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