I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Randomize
