idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
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i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
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She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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