VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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