Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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