In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We are two peas in an std pod
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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