Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm really busy with my period
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