Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
