i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
