i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
