"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
