I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
