wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
