My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
