on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize