you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
