Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
