Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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