would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
