fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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