"it" just moved
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
