I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
wow bdsm is so cute
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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