clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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