Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
