If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
