All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
