i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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