So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
