She's JV to your varsity
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
