i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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