I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
a search helicopter?!
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
