come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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