...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
