there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
