'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
