He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
