Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
