Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i permit you to call me
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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