ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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