great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize