Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
