Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She bit a glass in half.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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