are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
