she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
how drunk are you?
Several
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
