She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
